Enter sandman: SCG beach tales

Written By Unknown on Minggu, 06 Januari 2013 | 23.01

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Sandy tales ... Phil Hughes throws a beach ball back into the crowd. Source:News Limited

It wasn't until the last day of this Test that I realised the SCG had morphed a few of the seats into a fake beach.

Seventy tons of sand, 80 deck chairs and a 10-metre wading pool filled a spot that would have more than likely been empty from day two onwards.

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This is a great idea.

Of course, there are concerns with this type of facility at a Test match.

One in particular is when that facility is directly across from the members's area.

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The members, in their jackets, ties and long dresses, enjoy the traditions of the game while partaking in tea and freshly cut sandwiches.

For them to have to watch the cricket with half-naked girls and beer-chugging men as their back drop would have them saying, "gosh darn it, I do wish that young lass would cover herself with some type of knitted garment, she will catch her death"

Another is for the people involved in the beach environment. The rules have changed for patrons of Test-match cricket over the years - no beach balls, no full-strength beer and no esky.

What sort of beach is this?

The security guards will be enforcing the "no swimming for 60 minutes after you have eaten" rule and will also be ensuring that all patrons are wearing appropriate levels of SPF.

The red-headed patrons will be issued rashies and these are to be worn in the water at all times.

One key element missing in the beach area was a toilet facility, judging by the changing colour of the pool water throughout the day - crystal clear at 11am to a murky browny/yellow at 4pm.

Take yourself back to when there were no rules at the cricket. Clothing was optional, you could take your own beer to the game and you could do as you pleased.

I was fortunate enough to travel to South Africa a few years ago. The crowds, from a behavioural perspective, are very similar to Australian crowds of the late 1970's. The only difference being that their security guards are armed with machine guns.


Hussey magic

I don't need me to tell you what a star Michael Hussey is.

It is universally known that Hussey is one of the good guys. He is so well respected that he has been compared to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the epitome of man. When he is in a fight, he seems to be able to place his enemy in a trance that leaves them standing still for extended periods of time, enabling him to perform outrageous martial arts manoeuvres that finishes them off.

Some people wear Superman pyjamas, Superman wears Mike Hussey pyjamas.

Mike Hussey ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Lady Gaga's song, Poker Face, was written about Mike Hussey. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite holding just a Joker, a get-out-of-jail-free Monopoly card, a two of clubs, seven of spades and a green four card from the game, Uno.

I made my first-class debut against Western Australia in 2004. The bad news for me was that the WA team had a bloke called Hussey in it.

In true Chuck Norris-style, I bowled a bouncer to Mike in this game and using his inner Norris, he caught the ball before it hit him, took a bite out of it, lobbed it in the air to himself and smashed it over deep backward square for a towering six. Mike scored 210 on this day and, in fairness to my own bowling, he should have been out leg before on 0 if it wasn't for Bruce Oxenford using the "you can't get Mike Hussey out, he gets himself out" rule.

Upon entry to the Australian set-up, Hussey was the man to make me feel most welcome. He went out of his way to make sure I was comfortable in my new environment. To be honest, it's an environment that can be a little awkward, particularly when you've got a mouth like mine.

His journey to the international stage has taken a different path to the majority of those who have played before him. He was not touted as a golden child of Australian cricket and therefore given opportunities to represent his country based on potential.

This is a man that truly earned his spot in the Australian team and once he made it, he wasn't giving it up. Not for anyone. Not even Chuck Norris could prize this opportunity away.

Such is Mike Hussey's class as a human being, whenever I send him a congratulatory text, not only does he always reply, but he always asks how I am and you know that he genuinely wants to know.

His innings on Sunday epitomises his legacy as a cricketer. Team first. Team first ALWAYS.

Take a bow Mike Hussey.


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