'Stop it MS, before you hurt someone'

Written By Unknown on Minggu, 24 Februari 2013 | 23.01

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Match etiquette ... Brett Geeves raises some questions about India's behaviour. Source: Sam Ruttyn / News Limited

Day three and the watchability of the cricket has gone up a level.

The cameramen seem to be panning into the crowd more and if you turn the sound down, you can hear the sound of screeching tyres, young folk swearing at each other and police sirens … depending on which suburb you live in.

As far as general camera panning goes; there is nothing like the sights of South African cricket facilities. How do I become a cameraman?

I think I would be terrific, until I had to focus on something for more than a few minutes or if I was asked to lift anything heavier than a box of beer. Cricket - got it.

Poor Nathan Lyon is being savaged.

Not only are the Indian batsman hopping all over him for 4.4 runs per over, but the Australian public and media are giving it to him also.

How about we try something here? GIVE THE BLOKE A BREAK!! An OFF BREAK!! (ha - they say you shouldn't laugh at your own jokes, but this has me giggling - sorry).

Bowling off-spin is a tough art - just ask Tim May. Actually, he was pretty successful and wrote an awesome book too - Mayhem, you should read it.

Um, what about Peter Taylor, the bloke they picked thinking they were picking Mark Taylor? One-day average of 28 with the ball and had the greatest bowling action of the modern era. The old hop, skip and a jump with a double wind up and half pyke. He was one of my favourites.

Sadly, his pencil thin yellow moustache was a big downer as it blended in with his canary yellow one-day gear and yellow hair, making him look like he was wearing a team issue balaclava.


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1st Test - MA Chidambaram Stadium

22 February 2013 - Day 3, Session 3

India 1st Innings

M. Dhoni 206 243 22 5 84.77
B. Kumar 16 56 2 0 28.57
M. Henriques 17 4 48 1 2.82

Jason Krezja could have been successful if the selectors gave him an extended run in the team. 12 wickets on debut is a phenomenal return and we saw glimpses of his capabilities when he played against South Africa in Perth.

His dismissal of Amla in the first innings was a classic off spinner's wicket. Drift away from the right hander, lulling them down the crease, then sharp turn between bat and pad for the conking of stumps.

Unfortunately for Jas, this was his only wicket of the game and he conceded something like 200 runs.

It would be difficult as a spinner not knowing if you are getting an extended run or if the first or second game will be your last unless you bag a five-wicket haul. Cameron White, Bryce McGainn, Beau Casson, Steve Smith, Jason Krezja and Xavier Doherty are all shaking their head in agreeance.

I am making a media rule; one that should be respected. If you are an Australian spinner and you have dismissed Sachin Tendulkar in a test match, you are exempt from any further media bashing. Starting … Jason Krezja is a pie lobber… NOW.

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As I write this, Nathan Lyon's economy rate has just reached 4.7 and MS Dohni has just reached 200 … WOW!!

Virat Kohli scored a ton and when he notched up his milestone, he and MS stopped play for a game of euchre.

After MS won the first game by reneging, they called the physiotherapist and 12th man down for some doubles and once this was completed the four of them took off to Chennai Golf Club for some skins, all while the Australian players waited patiently.


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OK, so this might be a genuine exaggeration, but why was there a seven-minute delay when Virat scored his ton?

Indian cricketers, in my experience, have no match etiquette and this is something that upsets Australian players.

It's the small things; not asking the opposition captain if a drink can be run out on the ground or if new gloves can be received, chewing with their mouth open, trampling on the line of someone else's putt and other small things that get under your skin when it's 45 degrees and the score is 4 for 500.

Moving forward, watch this sort of stuff closely. It happens a lot when India are batting and I can guarantee you that at some stage during the second Test, there will be a blow up of some sort. Expect Warner and Wade to lead the charge on this one.

It is said that MS Dohni signed a $50 million sponsorship agreement with a very famous soft drink company. It is also said that he plays cricket like a BOSS (Shane Warne said this) and is a terrific table tennis player.

The Indian people love MS because of his humble beginnings. He once worked as a ticket collector for the Indian Railway and is remembered by his colleagues as a straight forward employee.

Not exactly a glowing report by his fellow collectors of tickets!

Surely they could have provided the journalist with a little more than that. They did, however, recall a story of when MS and two other chums wore white sheets over their bodies and pretended to be ghosts.

MS, you are looser than the Australian men's relay team. Knocking on doors, making prank calls, interrupting others sleep, kicking people out of lifts and other general naughtiness.

Stop it MS, before you hurt someone!


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