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WHEN England's 84-page touring food guide leaked out at the start of the tour one dish not mentioned was humble pie.
But it was force-fed to the beaten and broken tourists in Perth on Sunday by the lashing.
Don't underestimate what you have seen in the past three Tests. This England team had lost none of their past 13 Tests before landing here.
Australia have soared to rare heights this series.
When Australia beat India in India in 2004, it set a benchmark for pristine planning and high class bowling it felt may never be matched.
Glenn McGrath, Jason Gillespie, Shane Warne and Michael Kasprowicz provided a four-man choker hold and India's batsmen were subdued by a series of plans which just kept coming off.
But the strangulation of England this summer rivals that great achievement.
In both cases Australia bowled barely a bad over, never mind a bad session.
Each Australian bowler has done his job. Team plans have been clear, concise and no less effective for being obvious.
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Australia has squeezed England until they have turned blue in the face.
None of Australia's five main bowlers have averaged more than a frugal 2.73 runs per over.
All of the fast men have exceptional averages per wicket with Mitchell Johnson (19 at 14) leading the way from Ryan Harris (11 at 19), Peter Siddle (10 at 17) while spinner Nathan Lyon (seven at 34) has done his job.
Normally an attack has a weak link. But this one links a chain which England simply cannot break.
BATTING BLUES
STATISTICS can lie at times but at others can be brutally revealing.
The last time England visited our shores Alastair Cook made 302 runs in total in the opening Test of the series.
As of Sunday - the halfway point of the series - the top English run-scorer, Michael Carberry, had a feeble tally of 157 runs.
England are yet to score a century with Joe Root's Adelaide 87 their best score.
UNDER FIRE
FORMER England captain Michael Vaughan loves playing the Ashes antagonist and will stir up Australian fans when given any hint of an English uprising.
But he is a realist at heart. When openers David Warner and Chris Rogers roared to a century opening stand on Sunday Vaughan tweeted "this is officially embarrassing."
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MITCH MASH
STUART Broad was not the first batsman sent to hospital by Mitchell Johnson and he won't be the last.
Broad went for scans after being struck on the foot and trapped palpably lbw by Johnson.
Among Johnson's previous victims have been South African skipper Graeme Smith with dual hand fractures and Sri Lanka's Kumar Sangakkara who sustained a broken finger.
SWANN SONG?
WILL this Ashes tour be off-spinner Graeme Swan's farewell for England?
At age 34 he is close to the end and is already being courted by television cricket broadcasters for commentary roles for which he seems certain to be a future star.
Swann's press conferences are among the most entertaining in the game.
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STOKED UP
BEN Stokes' Ashes tour averages are not pretty but there is something about him that impresses.
At just 22 he has been thrown in the hottest of cauldrons - literally - and has shown enough to suggest he will be a player to be reckoned with.
His robust pacework has pushed the speedometre into the mid-140kphs and his batting work has at times shown bravery.
JUST NOT CRICKET
SHOULD no-ball checks for wicket balls be made compulsory?
This is one suggestion after the developing farce which is the constant and annoying post-dismissal referrals for no-ball checks which drains some of the game's most precious moments of their electric crackle.
In an "if you can't beat them join them" solution one umpire has privately suggested batsmen should head to the dressing room as if their fate is settled after being dismissed while the delivery is routinely checked by the third umpire and they could be called back via a red or green light if the ball is deemed illegal.
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