Swann: I couldn't be more satisfied

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WHEN I look back on my England career, I can't help breaking out into a huge smile.

It's been brilliant fun. I've played against some of the world's greatest cricketers and had a fair bit of success along the way.

I've taken part in three successive Ashes series wins and helped England lift the World Twenty20 in 2010.

It couldn't have been much better and I couldn't be any more proud.

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So why retire? I know some people will be surprised by the suddenness of my decision and the fact that I'm making myself unavailable for the final two Tests of the Ashes series.

Well, it's quite simple really. I'd hoped that, when we walked out for the fifth Test in Sydney on January 3, it would have been with a chance of winning or retaining The Ashes.

But that has gone now. Our heavy defeats in the first three Tests in Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth mean we have already lost this series.

It would be wrong for me to stay on for two more games just in the hope of picking up a few more wickets and adding to my personal tally.

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When I left home back in October, I thought this might be my last tour for England. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I looked in the mirror and knew it would be.

People always say that sportsmen instinctively know when the time is right to retire and I had that exact feeling during the Adelaide Test.

So now, with the series beyond our reach, I have just brought forward the decision by a couple of matches.

When I look back, I can't quite believe what I've achieved.

I was picked for England's tour of South Africa in 1999-2000 as a 20-year-old but didn't exactly create the greatest impression.

Missing the team bus a couple of times didn't help!

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It was almost eight years before I got another chance with England. When I told Andy Flower of my decision to retire here on Sunday, I said to him that I thought my career might have amounted to three or four Tests and maybe 20 one-dayers.

So I'm incredibly proud that I've helped England win three Ashes and that World Twenty20 - which is often overlooked but remains one of my career highlights. We've also topped the world rankings in all three formats at various times.

Eight years ago, nobody would have put a fiver on my achieving a quarter of what I have managed.

If they did, perhaps they can send me a bit of a dividend please! Having to wait so long for my big chance with England has always made me appreciate playing for my country that little bit more.

I look back with great fondness and a huge smile on my face.

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I've made some friends for life and been to some of the greatest places in the world. I consider myself one of the privileged few.

Maybe, with hindsight, it might have been a good thing to have swung my boots over my shoulder after the Oval Test last summer, waved to the crowd and retired there and then.

But I'd never have forgiven myself for not having had one final dart at the Aussies. I always remember the send-off Paul Collingwood received from the Barmy Army in Sydney three years ago. What a fantastic way to go - winning The Ashes and having 30,000 fans singing your name.

Sadly, that won't happen to me now. I guess I could have played in the final two Tests and had a bit of a farewell from the Barmies.

But it would have been hanging on for the wrong reasons. I've always wanted to be the centre of attention - but for taking wickets and winning matches. It's time for England to look to the future and that future won't have me in it.

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My right elbow hasn't felt quite the same since I had a second operation earlier this year. The surgeon did an unbelievable job to get me back on the field but the joint struggles to cope when I bowl a lot.

From day to day it feels great but, when I'm into my 35th or 40th over, it's not ideal.

I've been bowling off-spin for nearly 20 years now and I suppose it's no surprise there's some wear and tear in certain areas.

This tour has been a big downer for us and Australia have played some unbelievable cricket.

But the cricket wheel turns very quickly and I'm convinced that, come the home Ashes series in 2015, England will be on top again.

I don't have a clear plan at the moment, either for the next few days or my future beyond that.

My wife Sarah and our two children are here in Melbourne, so we'll have Christmas with the team - if they'll have me - and then maybe we'll explore Australia a little.

It's a chance to do some of the things that you're unable to do as a player.

I've had one or two offers for TV work, but I've not said yes or no to anyone yet. It's important to get this decision out in the open first.

Whether I play any more cricket, I don't know. There are one or two possibilities with the IPL.

But I've not been home much during the past seven years so it will be great to spend some time with my family. Mind you, Sarah might soon be marching me out the door to find some work!

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